I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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