Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
