we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
