he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
