Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
