Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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