Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
