I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize