We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
