I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
