I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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