she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
