i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
