so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
