I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
