Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
