Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
