is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my liver is dry heaving
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
