Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
