Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
