I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish you could order shots online.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
