I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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