Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Randomize
