you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize