Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
