FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
