No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
