Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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