her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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