It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize