he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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