Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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