i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
