I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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