Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize