That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
