If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
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