apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
