o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
