Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
