wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
