Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
