come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
