I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
