No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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