Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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