just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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