chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
