I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
