The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
