In the future we'll all be gay
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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