woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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