i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
