There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
