Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
